Tag Archives: 2020

Valentine’s Day Isn’t So Bad … Is it?

7 ideas for overcoming the Valentine’s Day blues.

Spoiler alert … I love LOVE! Since I began dating, I have enjoyed Valentine’s Day- both witnessing it and being a part of it. When I was in a relationship, I would find creative ways to show those I cared about that I did. When I wasn’t in a relationship, I would love up on myself…watch a favorite, sappy movie in my cozy pj’s, eat a special dinner, buy me a new lipstick…anything to express the LOVE and care I felt for myself and others. That tradition continues today as a wife and mom.

As I’ve grown older though, I’ve seen a shift in how folks view the day. (Please don’t call it a holiday or you will feel the wrath! LOL) Some folks feel like I do and treat it as a time to have fun while many others, rue the day! They can’t stand the mere mention of it and refuse to take part. Reasons span from it’s not real to it’s just too commercial…I’ve talked to folks from all walks of life who just cannot be bothered. One of my friends even suggested removing the day from the calendar altogether. Well, let’s talk about this…

Now, who doesn’t love being loved and/or loving someone else? YES! You should do this all year round, but isn’t it cool that we actually get a special day to do it? If you’re sitting back reading this and rolling your eyes…just be patient and walk with me a while….it won’t hurt, I promise.

Valentine’s Day, like so many other ‘special days’ [not holidays], can be celebrated any way you’d like, and that’s the beauty of it! You can be creative and fun, spend little to no money or just rest in the quiet comfort that you are loved.

Here are seven ideas to consider, especially if you aren’t with it, but your partner/family is or vice-versa!!

  1. Picnic Anyone? Put the kiddos to bed early, make a sweet playlist, light some candles, and enjoy your favorite tunes with low lights, a fruit/cheese plate and your favorite wine!
  2. A goodie box! It can be given to anyone! For your mate, find a small box, think, tie box and fill it with things that let your partner know you’re thinking of him. Could include lingerie, chocolates, homemade coupons, LOTS of confetti or NOT (getting too excited) and a nice note. Shipping to the home address or leaving it on the pillow the morning of, works! For your children, pack a small box with things they love (i.e., lip gloss, a hair tie/ribbon, a movie ticket, gift cards for a free lunch and/or handmade coupons for mommy/daddy and me time and a sweet card. Hide it in plain sight!
  3. US Time! Get a babysitter.  Set a date night any day of the week. Do something fun and maybe just a little out of the ordinary and enjoy each other’s company. It could be as simple as a walk for ice cream near a park, a movie you’d both love to see or a coffee at your favorite coffee shop.
  4. Lunchtime Surprise! Remind your children they are loved by packing some special treats in their lunch box. Could include their favorite sweet, a piece of ‘special chocolate,’ new hair bows or a little truck with a sweet note.
  5. Sweet Surprise! Wrap their favorite candy bar in a pretty ribbon and attach a love note to let them know you’re thinking of them.
  6. Thoughtful Notes. Purchase or make a beautiful card to say hello, I’m thinking of you!
  7. Do you bake? Do you make something someone you know loves? Create your specialty just for them! Invite them over to share OR wrap it nicely and leave a sweet note just to say I’m thinking of you!

Do you see a pattern here? Simple and easy ways to show your loved ones that you’re thinking of them, and the most they cost you is time [and maybe a couple of dollars, depending on which you choose).

If this sounds easy and doable, by all means, get to it…you still have a bit of time! However, if you’re still on the fence, just think about it. If you still can’t bring yourself to get with the program, take a few minutes during the week of and just spend some intentional time with your loved ones. It only takes a minute and I promise you’ll get all warm and fuzzy when you see their reactions!

We all love to be SEEN and feel APPRECIATED; it’s even better when you SEE and APPRECIATE someone else.

Happy love day!

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Resolutions or Affirmations?

Now that we’re in a new year and a new decade, I’m thinking about what most people are thinking about- regardless if they make them or not: resolutions. I have never been in the habit of making resolutions, probably because of that whole “fear of failure” thing. But I’m no therapist; what do I know?

Anyway, at the end of 2018, spurred on by my successful weight loss and desire to continue the momentum, I made a bunch of resolutions for 2019, contrary to how I felt. I tracked my goals throughout the year, but in early November 2019, I started taking a closer look at my progress and felt a little crappy about the results. Yes, I followed the SMART goals ideology (Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Relevant, and Time-bound), but I pretty much fell flat anyway. I had set calendar reminders to check in on my progress, but I was never actually accountable to myself. The goals I resolved to accomplish were shallow, without heart. Why did I want to get down to my goal weight? Why was getting a professional certification a goal? Why did I want to incrementally increase my retirement savings throughout the year?

I had all these goals with no real connection to what I sought in my life, to my legacy, to my desires. Why did I want all these things, and were these things what I needed? Where did they fit in my hierarchy of needs? 

Back to the beginning of November, when I realized the old way of achieving goals just wasn’t working for me: I restarted my journey to reinvent myself. The groundwork for this journey began with Task 1: write 100-lifetime goals. (#100 is to drink only 1 cup of coffee/espresso per day, and #89 is to make edible roti 🙄.)

One of my most important goals is to either recite a mantra or daily affirmations upon waking each morning. The philosophy behind affirmations is that if you state your vision, you will speak it into existence. I desire to start each day living the life my future self lives, not reminding myself that I’m not there yet and that I must continue the struggle to get there, wherever that may be. Who wants to wake up with such depressing thoughts? I want to start my day with statements such as, “Today, I am brimming with energy and overflowing with joy,” or “I am calm, happy, and content.” Why? Because I want to hold myself accountable and be mindful of all the necessary choices required to achieve that vision of my future self. 

I am changing from making resolutions to making affirmations because the latter commits me to create my desired future self- a woman with intentionality. “My personality exudes confidence” is more powerful and intentional than “I resolve to be more confident.” Really, what’s better: walking into a room, exuding confidence, or trying to act like a confident person?

Starting my day by stating, “Today, I am brimming with energy and overflowing with joy,” means I need to get out of bed and stretch. I need to have a healthy breakfast. I need to participate in some form of exercise. I will be happy about this new day, even if it’s cold and gloomy outside.

Some people may find all of this hokey and pointless, but I know it resonates with many adults in similar stages of life. A few days ago, I had a long conversation with one of my oldest and most insightful girlfriends (love you, Mrs. Scott!). Our conversation was a reminder of why I Stan that woman so much! We live hundreds of miles away from each other, but no matter how far apart nor how much time has transpired between our calls, our journeys are connected. We spoke of our children, goals, entrepreneurship, and hitting milestone ages, and eventually, we fell upon the topic of affirmations and how critical they are to furthering our development. I realized I was indeed on to something. This Savvy Survivor knows affirmations are deeper and more meaningful to growth and development than resolutions will ever be.  

Agree or disagree? What are your thoughts about resolutions and affirmations?

Do you have any affirmations you would like to share?

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